Life in Russia…

Is really busy! A blog is generally the place to just kinda go on and on about what’s on your mind, which is lots of fun – unfortunately, I don’t have time to do that on a regular basis. Forgive me; I promise, I will put entries on this blog as often as I can!

Well, we’re registered. For those of you who get my e-mails, you’ve already read about the…exciting and interesting process that was. J Actually, it’s all good. All’s well that ends well, right? My ‘Russian dad’ calls me an ‘infuriating optimist’, but I take that as a compliment. It’s all good, I say. The lady at the passport doesn’t hate us – not too much. She just does her job, and she does it very thoroughly. Like I say, though – my ambition in this whole situation is to somehow break thru the shell to reach her heart; by the grace of God Almighty, that’ll happen. Someday. :o)

I’ve made some interesting random observations over the past few weeks here in Russia – just cultural differences that seem to stick out. See, the culture here is a shame-based one. I’ve adjusted to that – it was tough the first year, but now, honestly, it doesn’t even phase me when my best efforts are always met with criticism; it’s just their way of showing how much they approve. Confused? Come live here for a few years. You’ll catch on.

That’s not what struck me this week, though. Though it’s not the best advice ever given, there is a saying in the USA that, though we wouldn’t necessarily agree right off, defines our attitude in life. Remember hearing “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”??? It’s funny, but if you’ve never realized it before, that’s the general American attitude. Here in Russia the ultimate punishment, the ultimate consequence for any negative action, is verbal disapproval. To be scolded or disapproved of is worse than death, at least in their minds.

I never really put my finger on the exact reason people here spend all their energies trying to please everyone around them – until the other day I was chatting with a neighbor and she said, ‘This is what’s so different about you Americans: You decide for yourself what is right, and what is wrong, and then you just do it. You don’t think about what people will think, or how they might respond, or if maybe someone would disagree with you. You probably actually assume people will disagree with you; but if you’re convinced that what you’re doing is right, you don’t care. That’s why your President is doing what he’s doing in Iraq. Whether it’s right or wrong, you have to respect him for doing what he is convinced is right. That’s what makes the USA so much different than everywhere else; they are doers. And everything they do is fueled by their convictions. Whether I agree with what you’re doing or not, I have to respect that.’

I wouldn’t go so far as to say every single American reacts exactly the same in every situation, nor does every single Russian. But overall, it was a fascinating observation. I was splitting firewood the other day when a girl walked by and said ‘why are you doing that? Aren’t you worried someone will see you and say you’re weird?’

I said it really didn’t matter what people say; somebody, somewhere, is going to disagree with me, no matter what I do. If I split firewood, someone will say ‘you work too hard, don’t do that’, and if I sit at home someone else will say ‘you’re so lazy, why are you even here in Russia?’, and if I work in the woodshop the director will say I’m wasting my time, but if I work on the computers, he’ll be happy, but his wife will say I’m being exploited. Why give myself ulcers trying to please everyone? It reminds me of the old story that goes something like this:

A father and son were going to market one day; the son sat on a donkey and the father walked alongside. People saw this and said ‘that selfish son – doesn’t he even care that his old father has to walk?’

So the son got down and the father rode. Then people said ‘look at that cruel father, making his young son walk while he rides comfortably.’

So they both got off and walked. Then people said ‘those stupid men, there they are walking when they have a perfectly good donkey to ride.’

So, the two of them climbed upon the donkey’s back, and people said ‘those cruel men – can’t they see the poor donkey is tired under the weight of both of them?’

So, they got down and carried the donkey. Then people said ‘look, those men are truly crazy, carrying a perfectly healthy donkey.’

So the men stopped listening to the people and continued on their way as they pleased.

Anyway, yes. All’s to say, it’s continually amazing to me, how people truly spend their days, and nights, worrying about what people think. It’s not just that – it goes deeper. For years, people here have had to think about every conversation carefully – because every friend and neighbor was a potential traitor, trust came slowly and paranoia regarding what people saw and perceived was almost like a religion. Now, there is left in most people a very healthy fear of people’s opinions. We in the USA have never experienced that, and therefore we are blessedly carefree. Who cares if that guy thinks I’m stupid? I don’t think he’s particularly an Einstein, either. So what if my neighbor doesn’t like me? It happens. I have better things to think about than impressing him. It is a blessed thing indeed to live in a country where the saying is ‘innocent until proven guilty’, and not the other way around, like here. Here, they arrest you first, convict you, then tell you ‘alright, there’s the conviction – now prove you’re innocent, if you can.’

The attitude we Americans generally possess can only be had by a person who never had to worry about being turned in to the police by their closest friends for things like ‘an intuition’.

So yes. We are a bit of an enigma, and fascination, to our Russian friends. And the fact that we don’t cringe in shame whenever someone says something disapproving is always shocking to them, as well. When I respond with ‘Yeah, I understand where you’re coming from, but I don’t see things that way’, I get the most interesting looks. Wish I had a camera with me!

Anyhoo, yes. Those were just some random observations from this past week. So much to be thankful for here. I hope and pray I will stay for many more years. There’s still so much to do; the days are packed and I earnestly pray we will be able to figure out the very best way to stay in Russia for the long haul. I’m not too worried – God knows, and He who went before Israel into the land of the Amorites and delivered it into their hands is with me. He knows, and that’s enough for me!